I don't know about you, but I have been thinking about dogs a good deal recently.
Walking along the banks of the mighty river Adur, I have seen so many of them, accompanied by their various humans, who are much less inclined to wag their tails than their corresponding canines are, that I have begun to wonder about them. They all seem so happy and untroubled that I can't help but think that they are involved in some kind of joint project.
Call me paranoid if you will, but it really does seem to me that dogs today are somehow different. If I cast my mind back many years, I can recall that we lived almost next door to a Mr. Kenville Jackson, who was I believe involved in the invention of the Kenwood food processor, though this is quite irrelevant I must admit. The thing is that Mr Jackson had a large frisky grey-haired (though young) dog called Kim. You had to keep well out of Kim's way because he was such an enthusiast for a fight – mainly with other dogs of course, but you were never quite sure whether he was going to take a fancy to your nice plump pink lower leg; he seemed to have X-ray eyes that could see through trousers (or tights of course). Many is the time I saw a bucket or two of water applied to Kim's case, though it scarcely dampened his fighting spirit. When he wasn't fighting, Kim was also a great lover – fortunately though only with other dogs. I think this what is called animal husbandry, and again, several buckets of water brought about apartial resolution.
Anyway, Kim seemed an absolutely standard product of his age, as so many dogs were spending their days – fuelled by high-protein Kennomeat and similar
products – as great fighters, and even better lovers, that it led to a veritable explosion of dogs of all types, and of course many of these continued in the great tradition.
You may be wondering what I am driving at here, but you will soon see, as I have an astonishing proposition for you to consider – something so amazing that you will need to sit down and recover for a few minutes at the very least.
I will tell you more about this idea of mine next time in Part 2.